One-Shot · Zero to Hero · Echoes of ITYS
A hardass taxman, a posh history tutor, and a twelve-year-old poop-shoveling tiefling walk into a murder — and the cause of death is being kicked in the groin to death. Three nobodies who hate each other solve a small-town homicide using a sack of manure, a forgotten 10-foot pole, and a smut novel neither will admit to reading. The hero we needed: a downwind tiefling whose stench doubles as smelling salts, a biological weapon, and a lie detector.
| Campaign | Episode | Date | Duration |
|---|---|---|---|
| Echoes of ITYS | One-Shot (ch2.4.5) | 2025-01-16 | 4h 12m |
| GM | System | Arc | Status |
| Chris | Zero Level Adventures | One-Shots | Complete |
A note on the format
A standalone zero-level one-shot run because Foulclaw (Jesse) was out sick and the table paused the Battle-of-the-Bands arc. Chris ran characters built live from the Zero Level Adventures supplement — random d100 tables for race, occupation, and gear, no classes. It’s the same chargen table that, ~2.5 years earlier, rolled the campaign’s villains.
With one player out, Chris pulls the table back to absolute zero — no classes, no heroes, just three randomly-rolled nobodies thrown together on the road. Dave plays Kilglaversk (“Kil”), a rigid, aristocratic human tax collector on his very first collection run; Steve plays Bief (“Beef”), a twelve-year-old tiefling gong farmer (a literal pooper-scooper) sold into Kil’s custody by a tax-dodging lord; and Brin plays Nivara, a forty-year-old half-elf history tutor down on her luck, who tags along to “tutor” Bief en route to Central. They despise each other. They arrive in the remote, 1,700-year-old town of Podunk — which hasn’t seen an outsider in months — exactly as a murder breaks: the blacksmith’s son Kilby Smithson has been drained to a powdery husk overnight (and, per a GM ad-lib that drives half the investigation, “kicked in the groin repeatedly”). The anxious Mayor deputizes the trio on the spot: “The Three T’s” — Taxer, Tutor, Tiefling.
What follows is a genuine, door-to-door murder mystery played for maximum farce. The investigation walks the whole town — morgue, tavern, apartment, blacksmith, church, butcher, farm, windmill — and the clues mount: identical purple love letters sent to half the men in town, red-clay mud that matches nowhere local, a hidden key, and finally a second drained body (the butcher’s missing son Frederick) chained up in an abandoned windmill. It all points to Kilby’s fiancée Morgan — a no-job, lives-alone beauty who, Nivara’s history check (cross-referenced against her secret succubus romance novel, Darla the Succubus) confirms, is a succubus feeding off the town. Throughout, Bief’s weaponized stench does the heavy lifting — sobering up a drunk witness, doubling as a lie detector, and getting thrown through windows as a “biological attack.”
The boss fight is gloriously anticlimactic. The party nets and pit-traps the succubus’s lair, Kil summons a level-3 necromancer taxman named Necrophil from Central as backup — and then the useless twelve-year-old Beef lands the only success of his entire night, a natural-20 skunk-tail stink attack that makes the succubus vomit and collapse. The hero they needed. Morgan is shackled and pitted (to be beheaded back at Central), the reinforcements arrive too late for a real fight, and as the Three T’s leave town the next morning, they pass the trash cans on the road out — every single one stuffed with a discarded purple love letter. Morgan had seduced the entire town. “Is that what it means to be a floozy?” Bief asks. “Yes,” Nivara answers. “Today, your lessons begin.”
💀 "The Ballad of the Three T's" (The Podunk Murder — Episode Recap)
(A small-town murder ballad, sung by a taxman, a tutor, and a child who smells like a crime scene.)
Kil: There’s two things in life that you never can dodge — it’s death and taxes, and you’re dealing with both in this lodge. Nivara: I read of these things — (she hides the smut novel) — purely academic, of course — Bief: I’m twelve and I shovel the gong, and I smell like a horse.
(A husk of a man. Purple letters. A windmill. A second body in chains.)
Kil: Shit doesn’t lie — and we smell no bullshit on you — Nivara: She’s a succubus, gentlemen, draining this town through and through.
(The nets drop. The taxman calls in a necromancer. And then —) Bief: (nat 20, a single triumphant skunk-tail blast) — I know my shit! All: And that’s how a gong farmer saves the day with a fart. (The hero we needed.)
Player Characters
| Character | Player | Race | Occupation (Level 0) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Kilglaversk (“Kil”) | Dave | Human | Tax Collector — Intimidation, silvered longsword, money sack; rigid Central aristocrat, father in Parliament |
| Bief (“Beef”) | Steve | Tiefling | Gong Farmer — age 12, Darth-Maul look; shovel, club, sack of manure; weaponized stench; lands the finishing blow |
| Nivara | Brin | Half-Elf | History Tutor — age 40, INT 16; quarterstaff, schoolbook, and a secret romance novel that cracks the case |
NPCs
| NPC | Description |
|---|---|
| Morgan | Kilby’s fiancée — no job, lives alone — revealed as the killer: a succubus writing identical love letters to every man in town and draining them to husks. Captured for beheading at Central. |
| The Mayor of Podunk | Anxious; deputizes the trio (“The Three T’s”) and pays 30 gp each. |
| Kilby Smithson | The victim — the blacksmith’s son, drained to a husk; “kicked in the groin repeatedly.” |
| Frederick | The butcher’s missing older son — the second drained body, chained in the windmill. |
| Rod Butcherson | Kilby’s best friend; got a love letter too; cleared by a nat-20 insight. |
| Necrophil | A level-3 necromancer tax collector summoned from Central as backup — arrives too late for the fight, and audits Kil’s own taxes (“we’ll have a chat in Central”). |
Factions
| Faction | Description |
|---|---|
| Central / The Tax Collectors’ Guild | The capital and its bureaucracy; Parliament (Kil’s father sits in it); the recurring “messenger-hawk to the Owlry” gag. |
| The Hunter’s Lodge | Podunk’s prized, Gaston-flavored hunting culture. |
| The Church of ITYS (“Book of Idios”) | Referenced — grounds the one-shot in the Echoes cosmology. |
Story Beats
00:02:09· 🎲 Meta · 📍 Table — Foulclaw is out sick; the table pivots to a zero-level one-shot.00:05:34· 📖 Lore · 📍 Table — Note: this is the same chargen table that rolled Zen, Lawrence, Kava, and Krengrum ~2.5 years ago.00:16–00:32· 🎲 Chargen · 📍 Table — Occupations & names locked: Bief (gong farmer), Kilglaversk (tax collector), Nivara (tutor).00:38:25· 🎭 RP · 📍 Road — Group backstory: a tutor, a first-outing taxman, and a sold-into-slavery boy, thrown together.00:49:30· 📣 Inciting · 📍 Town square — A crier announces Kilby Smithson murdered; Kil draws his sword for “death tax.”00:53:00· 🎭 Comedy · 📍 Town square — Kil orders Bief to scoop the square “in eighths”; Nivara “tutors.”00:59:36· 🤝 Quest · 📍 Mayor’s office — The Mayor hires the trio (30 gp each) to solve it.01:12:37· 🔎 Clue · 📍 Morgue — The body is drained/shriveled in a day; a purple love-letter in the pocket; “kicked in the groin repeatedly.”01:28:00· 🔎 Clue · 📍 Hunter’s Lodge — Drunk guard Gary (sobered by Bief’s stench) recounts finding the body in the plowed field.01:39:24· 🔎 Suspect · 📍 Lodge — Shooter reveals jealousy of Kilby and a purple letter from Morgan.02:03:00· 🔎 Clue · 📍 Morgan’s apartment — A half-gone stack of purple paper, no quill or ink, and boots with red mud matching nowhere in town.02:11:00· 🔎 Clue · 📍 Blacksmith — Meet the grieving family + Morgan; she slips that half her letters are “gone.”02:50:00· 🔎 Clue · 📍 Butcher — A hidden purple letter (stuck to Bief’s back) reveals Rod got one too.03:03:00· 🔄 Twist · 📍 Butcher — Rod (cleared by nat-20 insight) reveals his missing brother Frederick.03:18:00· 🔎 Climax clue · 📍 Wheat farm — Scuffle marks and a red-mud key lead to a distant windmill.03:26:00· 🔄 Reveal · 📍 Windmill — Morgan’s boot-prints; the key fits; Frederick’s drained body chained inside a larder of shackles.03:49:00· 🔄 Reveal · 📍 Morgue — Nivara’s history check (via her smut novel) → Morgan is a SUCCUBUS.03:52:00· 🎲 Setup · 📍 — — A “Kill the Beast” rally; net + pit trap set at the windmill.03:58:00· 📣 Backup · 📍 Windmill — Kil summons Necrophil, a necromancer taxman from Central.04:01:00· ⚔️ Climax · 📍 Morgan’s room — Bief is thrown in; the succubus grabs his throat; Bief’s nat-20 skunk-tail stink attack knocks her out.04:04:00· 🎲 Resolution · 📍 Town — Succubus shackled and pitted; the Mayor pays out (Kil demands “1% tax” extra).04:08:00· 🎭 Button · 📍 Windmill — Necrophil audits Kil: only 10% taxes paid — “we’ll have a chat in Central.”04:11:36· 🎭 Cliffhanger · 📍 Road out — Every trash can on the way out holds a discarded purple love letter — Morgan had seduced the whole town. Session ends (~04:12:07).
Notable Moments
On gong farming
“I’m a gong farmer — is that racist?” — Steve / Bief,
00:16:30
On the spirit of D&D
“We don’t come to D&D to play what we are.” — Brin / Nivara,
00:12:21
On taxation
“I’m taking your presents, bitch — 21% of your stuff belongs to the government.” — Dave / Kil,
00:21:52
On the two certainties
“There’s only two things in this life you can’t avoid… death and taxes — and you’re dealing with both right now.” — Dave / Kil,
02:13:22
On the gong farmer's expertise
“No, my lady, I know my shit.” — Steve / Bief,
01:37:41
On reading material
“It was only anatomical research.” / “Purely academic.” — Brin / Nivara & Steve / Bief,
03:04:54
On olfactory forensics
“Shit doesn’t lie.” … “You’re lucky we smell no bullshit on you.” — Dave / Kil,
03:12:51
On graduation
“Is that what it means to be a floozy?” / “Yes — today your lessons begin.” — Steve / Bief & Brin / Nivara (final line),
~04:11:40
Encounters
| Type | Encounter | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| 🔎 Mystery | The Podunk murder (Kilby → Frederick) | Solved — the killer is a succubus |
| ⚔️ Climax | Morgan the succubus | Knocked out by Bief’s nat-20 stink attack; captured |
Lore Discoveries
- Meta-canon: the zero-level chargen table used here is the same one that rolled Zen, Lawrence, Kava, and Krengrum ~2.5 years prior — Zen (“the most evil man in the world”) originally came up with a barber/cheesemaker background. A direct, deliberate tie to the main campaign’s villains.
- Succubi in Kaethos: vampires aren’t called vampires here (“a vampirer”); the drain-creature is a succubus (resistant to fire/lightning/poison/nonmagical physical; vulnerable to necrotic — and, per Bief, stench).
- Shared-world geography: Central (capital, Parliament, Tax Collectors’ Guild), a southern continent (spices/curry), Greenport (source of “Riz crackers”), and Ravensmark (sheep-herders and scroll-riders, goats found drained) are all main-world canon, not one-shot inventions.
- The “Book of Idios” and the Children’s Crusade are referenced — grounding the shot in the ITYS cosmology.
Ending
A comedic button rather than a cliffhanger: the succubus Morgan is captured (bound for a beheading at Central by Necrophil), and as the Three T’s leave Podunk, the trash cans lining the road each hold a discarded purple love letter — proof she’d seduced the entire town. Bief asks what a floozy is; Nivara tells him his lessons begin today.
Full Transcript
Source: 250116-zero-to-hero-transcript Format: DaVinci Resolve SMPTE —
HH:MM:SS:FF(session-absolute) Speakers: Chris / GM · Dave / Kil · Steve / Bief · Brin / Nivara Runtime:00:00:00:00→ ~04:12:07
Related
- Campaign: Echoes of ITYS · Arc: One-Shots
- Around: Ch 2.4 → Zero to Hero → Ch 2.5
- Characters: Kilglaversk · Bief · Nivara
- Factions: Central / Tax Collectors’ Guild · The Church of ITYS
- Locations: Podunk · Central
- Lore: The Zero-Level Chargen Table · Succubi in Kaethos