Honey I Shrunk the Wizard

Honey I Shrunk the Wizard — Ch 1.4

Still blinking their way out of the caverns beneath El Cinede, the crew only wants three things: a bath, a bed, and a way past the guards who caught them at the library. What they get instead is a broken crate, a spreading grey ooze, and a city that is suddenly very, very large. When the only cure in the world goes rolling toward an open sewer drain, someone tiny is going to have to go get it — and the smaller you are, the further you have to fall. How low can a rock star go?

Chapter / Episode	1.4 — Honey I Shrunk the Wizard
Arc	Above the Clouds
GM	Steve
Date / Duration	2024-08-07 · ~2h1m (gameplay from 00:05:05)
Party	TBD (Chris), Xeros (Dave), Foulclaw (Jesse), Basil (Brin) — with Nortle (Steve, companion)
Joins / Departs	none (Gypsy Jenkins absent this session)
Ends on	a long-overdue long rest at Blackguard’s Inn — scrubbed clean in a pig trough, restored to full size, and newly cursed to shrink on a bad roll

Synopsis

Fresh from the abyss below El Cinede — where Foulclaw earned the Scroll of Jubilee and Lamentation and Xeros came away temporarily blinded — the party hauls itself back up the sketchy stairs and pockets three high-grade veil-stone samples for the absent artificer Lashara. Their plan is modest: get to Blackguard’s Inn, let Xeros sleep off the blindness, and gather rumors about their missing friend Manni Dugal. Getting there means crossing open streets as a walking anime lineup — a disguised Goliath, an owl, and a turtle “very slowly coming up the rear” — so the whole crew starts burning suspicion dice, Xeros busking as a Robin-Hood-cartoon blind beggar (cup in one hand, violin bow as a tapping cane in the other) while Foulclaw’s Mage Hand tows him along. It goes about as smoothly as a turtle in a foot race.

Then the library guards — Brayden and Brydon — round the corner mid-argument and recognize them. TBD blows an intimidation check so badly he has to sacrifice Zenzu fruit to reroll a nat 1 into a 2 (“100% improvement,” Xeros notes drily); Foulclaw drops Brayden with a Sleep spell juiced by the Scroll of Jubilee and Lamentation; and TBD, in a gleeful callback to an earlier episode, presses an activated levitation crystal into Brydon’s hand and shoves him clean off the edge of the sky-city — where he is, as far as anyone knows, still going up. In the chaos, the blind Xeros trips into a stranger’s crate, shatters a rack of vials, and coats the entire party in a grey alchemical ooze. A d100 later, the crew is shrinking: Foulclaw to 77%, Basil to a one-foot bunny, Xeros to 86% (he never even notices), Nortle to a hockey-puck 44%, and TBD all the way down to 8% — a six-inch rock star in a giant’s hat.

The ooze belongs to Blossom Roughwind, a Host-loyal alchemist who bursts from her door, slips in her own potion, shrinks, and wails that her one hard-won antidote is right now rolling into the sewer. What follows is a shrunken slapstick relay: TBD swan-dives after the vial (“Free Bird, baby!”), rides a Thunder Wave down the pipe, and finally freezes the whole sewer channel — and his own fingers — into an ice cube with Frost Fingers, straddling it “like Dr. Strangelove riding a bomb” while playing his guitar Bophades. Basil scoops spare goo into a vial (“my shrink bank”), regrows via a lick of antidote (and rolls a tongue that swells to four times normal, reducing her cursing to muffled drooling), and TBD regrows everything but his legs — a colossus on tiny Ken-doll shins (“I skipped leg day”). Down in the muck he also fishes out a mysterious slab: the Tablet of Tablatures. Back in Blossom’s Alchemy Lab, TBD, Foulclaw and Blossom pool their magic — guitar, Detect Magic, and a duplication ritual — to double the antidote and cure everyone. Foulclaw finally comes clean that they’re groundlings hunting a lost friend, earning Blossom’s trust; she maps out the city’s remaining districts and points them toward Turgra Strongsmith’s theater for the forged IDs they’ll need to crack the Ascendant’s Library. The session closes with a blissfully uneventful walk to Blackguard’s Inn, a long rest, and a pig-trough bath — the party permanently marked by the potion: from now on, a bad enough roll shrinks them right back down.

🎵 Song Recap (rhyming — drop into an AI song generator)

Scheme: AABB verses + chorus. Suggested vibe: goofy arena-rock romp with a big kick-drum.

(Verse 1) Up from the cavern with rocks in the bag, A blind little beggar and a cup for the swag; The guards from the library block up the street — So we Sleep one to snoring and we sweep off his feet.

(Chorus) Honey, I shrunk the wizard, watch him fall, Eight percent tiny and the world’s grown tall! Chase the little vial down the poo-water flume — Freeze it, ride it, guitar in the gloom!

(Verse 2) A crate full of ooze and it splashes on all, Now a rock star’s a rock star that’s six inches small; Blossom comes screaming, “Who’s guilty of this?!” As the one cure we’ve got takes a swirl down the abyss.

(Verse 3) Basil’s got a tongue that is four sizes wide, TBD grew back but his legs stayed fried; A tablet in the sewer and a truth finally told, Double up the antidote and grow back bold.

(Chorus)

(Outro) A bath in the pig trough, a bed, and a rest — That ends the incredible shrinking subplot — we’re blessed.

📋 Point-by-point breakdown (player catch-up — everything that happened)

1. 00:05:05 · 🧭 Travel — The party climbs out from beneath El Cinede after the abyss; TBD (Arcana 18) sifts three high-quality veil-stone samples for Lashara and pockets them separately from his own.
2. 00:09:32 · 📖 Lore — The GM lays out the map: Turgra’s Theater (info-trading — a lead on Manni Dugal), Stabber McStabby’s Stabbing Emporium (closed), and Blackguard’s Inn near the lower gates. Blind Xeros lobbies for the inn and a long nap.
3. 00:11:33 · 🎲 Mechanic — Foulclaw uses Mage Hand to tow the blinded Xeros — “you’re being led by Mage Hand, but you don’t know it’s not my hand.”
4. 00:12:24 · 🎲 Mechanic — Crossing town, the group rolls suspicion dice; TBD tries Animal Handling (“I’m with a bunch of animals”), Xeros performs a blind-beggar bit, and everyone stacks up flags.
5. 00:18:44 · 🎭 RP — TBD nat-1s Animal Handling, trips over Nortle’s shell, and sends the turtle skidding down the street — a full commotion; third suspicion die added.
6. 00:20:46 · 🎭 RP — The library guards Brayden and Brydon round the corner and recognize the crew; Xeros plays it up as a blind man begging for directions to the inn.
7. 00:24:43 · 🎲 Mechanic — TBD rolls a nat 1 on Intimidation and burns Zenzu fruit to reroll — into a 2. “You doubled your last number.” / “100% improvement.”
8. 00:29:00 · ⚔️ Combat — Foulclaw casts Sleep (7d8 after the Scroll of Jubilee and Lamentation boost, magic word “yippee”) and drops Brayden snoring in the alley.
9. 00:35:20 · ⚔️ Combat — TBD hands Brydon an activated levitation crystal and shoves him off the city’s edge; the guard clutches it and rockets straight up — a running gag callback to episode one.
10. 00:40:41 · 📖 Lore — Blind Xeros had earlier tripped into a crate of vials; the party stomps through the spilled ooze and starts to tingle, then shrink.
11. 00:41:55 · 🎲 Mechanic — Everyone rolls d100 for shrink percentage: Xeros 86%, Foulclaw 77%, Nortle 44%, Basil 34% (a one-foot bunny), TBD 8% — barely six inches, the smallest of all.
12. 00:48:34 · 🎭 RP — Blossom Roughwind bursts from a door, slips in her own shrinking ooze, shrinks to about half, and demands, “Who is guilty of this?”
13. 00:52:10 · 🎲 Mechanic — Blossom reveals her single antidote vial is rolling toward the sewer drain; a frantic scramble to grab it fails and it drops into the grey water.
14. 00:52:51 · 🎭 RP — Basil sleight-of-hands a scoop of the shrinking goo into a spare vial — her “shrink bank” — for later.
15. 00:59:02 · 🎲 Mechanic — TBD dives into the sewers beneath Cinede after the vial (“Free Bird, baby!”), caught safe by Foulclaw’s Mage Hand.
16. 01:01:16 · 🎲 Mechanic — TBD aims Thunder Wave behind himself to rocket forward down the pipe and close on the floating antidote.
17. 01:04:47 · 🎲 Mechanic — With Basil’s help prying the grate loose, TBD casts Frost Fingers into the sewage, freezing the vial (and his own fingers) into an ice cube; a Zenzu-assisted 15 lands it.
18. 01:07:33 · 🎲 Mechanic — Basil hurls shrink-goo onto the grate, shrinking it to 34% until it cracks and rains debris (1d6) on TBD, who then straddles the ice cube “like Dr. Strangelove riding a bomb,” playing guitar.
19. 01:23:10 · 🎭 RP — Basil licks the antidote to regrow, rolls a 65 on the effect table, and her tongue swells to four times normal — cursing reduced to muffled drool.
20. 01:27:08 · 🎭 RP — TBD rubs on the antidote but “neglects his legs,” growing to full size on tiny Ken-doll shins. “I skipped leg day.”
21. 01:35:23 · 📖 Lore — Gorilla-walking through the muck, TBD’s hand closes on a solid slab: the Tablet of Tablatures — three bard cantrips + level-1 bard spells (Charm Person, Comprehend Languages, Detect Magic, Healing Word), three charges refreshing at dawn.
22. 01:39:15 · 🧭 Travel — Blossom Roughwind pulls the party into Blossom’s Alchemy Lab; there’s just enough antidote left to duplicate.
23. 01:41:35 · 📖 Lore — TBD name-drops Lashara; Blossom has “heard whispers” but studied nothing of hers, and reveals she’s a Host supporter who learned alchemy from her father.
24. 01:45:06 · 🎲 Mechanic — TBD runs Detect Magic through the Tablet for advantage, then plays his guitar Bophades; with Foulclaw and Blossom, the three complete a duplication ritual, doubling the antidote and curing the whole party (imperfectly — see below).
25. 01:49:34 · 🎲 Mechanic — Because the cure was magically forced, the party is now marked: a nat 1–2 on any roll shrinks them back to their potion size (1 hour), and by concentrating (19–20) they can shrink on purpose — an unstable Reduce-style gift.
26. 01:54:04 · 🎭 RP — Foulclaw tells Blossom the truth — they’re groundlings looking for a taken friend — and reconciles; she appreciates the honesty and helps.
27. 01:55:55 · 📖 Lore — Blossom maps the remaining districts: Mademoiselle Merrill’s Multitudinous Milliner Menagerie, Montebank’s Mill, The Finery and Winery, Parliamentary Chambers, and the Ascendant’s Library — with Turgra Strongsmith’s theater as the source of forged IDs to get inside.
28. 02:00:14 · 🧭 Travel — An uneventful walk to Blackguard’s Inn, a long rest, and a pig-trough scrub. “That ends the incredible shrinking subplot.”

Player Characters

Character	Player	Race	Class	Note
TBD	Chris	Goliath	Wizard	Frontman of Killasaurus; shrinks to 8% (smallest), rides an ice cube down the sewer, finds the Tablet of Tablatures, “skips leg day”
Xeros	Dave	Tiefling	Bard	Temporarily blind all session; plays a Robin-Hood blind beggar with cup and bow-cane; shrinks to 86% and never notices
Foulclaw	Jesse	Owlin	Sorcerer	On sabbatical from the School of ITYS; Mage-Hand wrangler, Sleeps a guard, and learns to lie — then repents and tells the truth
Basil	Brin	Harengon	Fighter	She/her. Cartwheeling distraction, scoops a “shrink bank,” and licks the antidote into a four-times-too-big tongue
Nortle	Steve (companion)	Tortle	Monk	Turtle roadie voiced by the GM; tripped, kicked like a hockey puck, shrunk to 44%, and still guides blind Xeros by the hand

NPCs

NPC	Role	Note
Blossom	Aasimar alchemist (Host)	Blossom Roughwind; her spilled ooze shrinks the party; helps duplicate the [[the antidote
Brayden	Library guard	Dropped by Foulclaw’s Sleep and left snoring in the alley
Brydon	Library guard	Handed a levitation crystal by TBD and thrown off the city’s edge — still rocketing skyward
Turgra Strongsmith	Theater impresario	Trades in information and forged IDs; the party’s route into the Ascendant’s Library
Manni Dugal	Missing friend	The lost contact the party is trying to locate — the reason the library and Turgra matter
Lashara	Artificer (absent)	The party’s patron; TBD gathers veil-stone samples for her and name-drops her to Blossom

Factions

Faction	Note
The Host	The pro-outreach political faction of El Cinede; Blossom supports it and hopes power will one day open trade with outsiders like Lashara

👹 Monsters

Monster	Threat / Role	Note
Brayden	Library guard (neutralized)	The only “combat” of the session — Slept unconscious by Foulclaw and abandoned in the alley (also an NPC)
Brydon	Library guard (neutralized)	Levitation-crystal’d off the edge of the city by TBD; presumed still ascending (also an NPC)

🎙️ Notable Moments

00:11:33 — Blind Xeros needs a guide, and Foulclaw finds the most owlin way possible to hold his hand without holding his hand.

Foulclaw: I do have Mage Hand. It’s going to guide you — you’re being led by Mage Hand, but you don’t know that it’s not my hand. Xeros: Oh, so you’re just going to hold my hand with Mage Hand?

00:20:24 — Mid-disguise, the recognized party freezes — so blind Xeros leans all the way into the bit and begs the library guards themselves for directions.

Xeros: Anyone got some gold pieces? I’m blind. I’m looking for the inn, and if you could direct me there with a gold piece or two, I’d appreciate it.

00:24:43 — TBD flexes to intimidate the guards, rolls a natural 1, and sacrifices Zenzu fruit to fix it.

Steve: It’s not a one. TBD: (after the reroll) It’s a two. Foulclaw: Hey, improvement! Steve: You doubled your last number. Xeros: 100% improvement. And that’s how statistics lies to everyone.

00:37:18 — TBD tests a "hypothesis" on the still-standing guard, and it is pure episode-one energy.

Steve: You hand him a rock, which is perhaps the last thing he expected — and then you grab him and get him over the side. Steve: He goes over, and then shoots straight up. Xeros: It’s just a throwback to episode one — throw him off the edge.

00:43:44 — The namesake lands: coated in Blossom Roughwind's ooze, everyone shrinks — and the seven-foot wizard rolls the smallest number at the table.

TBD: 80%. Oh — 8%. Nice. Steve: You went from seven feet to 8% of seven feet, which is math. So, I don’t know. You’re about the same size as the bunny.

00:51:33 — Blossom Roughwind slides out of her own door into the spreading potion and finds four guilty-looking strangers already shrinking.

Blossom: Who did this? Who is guilty of this? I need to know! Blossom: The antidote to this is going down that drain right now!

00:59:25 — Six inches tall, TBD volunteers to be the one who dives into the sewer after the only cure.

Xeros: You just jump down and yell “Pickle Rick!” TBD: Free bird, baby! Let’s go surfing.

01:10:21 — Having frozen the vial and his own fingers into a floating ice cube, the tiny wizard commits fully to the aesthetic.

Xeros: It’s like Dr. Strangelove riding a freaking bomb — just playing a guitar. Steve: A very small wizard, yodeling and playing the electric guitar and screaming.

01:24:48 — Basil regrows by licking the antidote and immediately regrets it.

TBD: Your tongue grows four times. Steve: Make sure you stay really upright — because if you bend over, your tongue might just start licking the sewage ground. I’m just saying.

01:27:29 — TBD slathers on the antidote but forgets a crucial region of his anatomy.

Steve: He neglected to get all the way down to his legs, so he’s just got these tiny little Ken-doll legs as his entire body gets bigger and bigger. TBD: Ah, crap! I skipped leg day.

01:36:08 — Gorilla-walking through the muck, TBD grabs something that isn't a rock.

TBD: Everything happens for a reason. I find the Tablet of Tablature.

01:41:35 — In Blossom's Alchemy Lab, TBD fishes for a connection and drops the one name that matters.

TBD: You ever heard of a famous alchemist named Lashara? Blossom: I’ve heard whispers about her, but I haven’t studied anything that she has. It’d be wonderful if she could share some knowledge with us.

🗺️ Locations

Place	Note
El Cinede	The above-the-clouds city; the party climbs up from its caverns and threads its streets, sewers and districts all session
the sewers beneath Cinede	Grey-water tunnels the antidote washes into; ledges, flowing water and a waterfall — and where the Tablet of Tablatures is found
Blossom’s Alchemy Lab	[[Blossom
Blackguard’s Inn	Inn near the lower gates; the party’s long-rest destination — and a pig-trough bath
Ascendant’s Library	Likely source of intel on Manni Dugal; entry needs forged IDs from Turgra Strongsmith
Turgra’s Theater	Where Turgra Strongsmith trades information and forges documents
Stabber McStabby’s Stabbing Emporium	A shop on the map, noted closed and only a few blocks off
Montebank’s Mill	A mountebank’s — i.e., a doctor’s — on the map, for when you get “too many owies”
The Finery and Winery	Expensive chophouse/restaurant on the map (letter J)
Mademoiselle Merrill’s Multitudinous Milliner Menagerie	Upscale clothing/hat shop (letter L); peak El Cinede alliteration
Parliamentary Chambers	District of well-connected members of parliament who might know what the library doesn’t

🎒 Items

Item	Note
shrinking potion	Blossom’s grey ooze (“Potion of Mus musculus”); shrinks anything it touches by a rolled percentage — meant for objects, permanent on creatures
the antidote	Blossom’s single hard-to-make cure; lost down the drain, frozen out of the sewer, then duplicated in the lab
Tablet of Tablatures	Found in the sewer by TBD; grants three bard cantrips + level-1 bard spells, three charges refreshing at dawn
Bophades	TBD’s named electric guitar; played to channel Arcana and power the duplication ritual
Veil Stone	Purple veil-stone crystals gathered for Lashara; crushed and inhaled they raise a spell one level; activated they levitate (used to launch Brydon)
Zenzu Fruit	Consumable dice-fruit; spent to add to a roll or sacrificed to force a single reroll (must keep the new result) — burned freely this session
Scroll of Jubilee and Lamentation	Foulclaw’s two-sided scroll; the “Jubilee” side (“yippee”) boosts a spell but flips over and risks a magic surge each use

⛩️ Pantheon & Lore

Entry	Note
Father ITYS	The faith Foulclaw roams to spread; the School of ITYS he’s on sabbatical from anchors his owlin sorcery
El Cinede politics	The **[[The Host

Transcript

Full cleaned transcript: 240807-ch1.4-honey-i-shrunk-the-wizard-transcript.

Related

Echoes of ITYS · prev: 240709-ch1.3-its-a-chasm-countdown · next: 240905-ch1.5-romance-in-three-acts · El Cinede · Blossom · the antidote · Tablet of Tablatures · Turgra Strongsmith · Manni Dugal · Lashara