The Final Final — Ch 3.8
It’s exam day at the School of ITYS, and the party has one morning to master their feats, cheat a church-history final, and — because they can’t help it — steal back a pair of pants. But every con they run is a distraction from the one they haven’t clocked: something is bleeding through the runes beneath the temple, and the professor who’s been quietly rewriting history is about to sit his own final exam. Who passes when the answer key is written in blood?
| Chapter / Episode | 3.8 — The Final Final |
| Arc | Trinity (New Old) |
| GM | Jesse |
| Date / Duration | 2025-10-23 · ~2h59m (gameplay from 00:03:09) |
| Party | Xeros (Dave), Nortle (Steve), TBD (Chris), Basil (Brin) |
| Also | [[foulclaw |
| Ends on | [[mutatio |
Synopsis
Picking up in Mutatio’s ransacked office the morning after their Sky Rush victory, the party pockets the last of the loot — a lone black Span Quill with no twin, three emeralds and three rubies on a nat-20, and the recovered Book of Chronomancy — and heads out into finals day at the School of ITYS. Every morning now begins with a swig from The Chalice they won at Sky Rush, which widens the “success” band on their elective feats for the day. So the crew fans out to graduate: Basil locks in her balance-and-healing feat by tripping her own brother; Nortle masters his grapple by clobbering the young acolyte Amla mid-prayer with a stump and a scripture quote (“Bring the lamentations of their children!”); and TBD, handed his upgraded axe-guitar Bophades by a cheerfully high Grunsch, attempts Spell Sniper — nat-1s into a Wild Surge, shrinks to the size of his own mini, and accidentally punches a freshman clean through three walls before finally nailing it blindfolded.
Meanwhile Xeros keeps scrying on Morty (last seen fleeing the party’s peer-pressure campaign), finds the nerd happily tutoring a smitten tiefling in the New Old Library, and tips the campus guards for pure mischief. Then the sneering School of Sorcery instructor drags Xeros back to the Hall of Hidden Things for a retry, and the episode’s set-piece unfolds: Xeros fights his personified Xeros’s Sins — Deceit (Basil, as his disappointed parents), Pride (TBD), and an unkillable Lust (Nortle) — with The Chalice dumbing them down. He shrinks Lust with Enlarge/Reduce, Distort Values Pride into “Insecurity,” and finally Shatters Lust to reveal a golden orb that turns out to be a Deck of Oracles. Reborn “vice-free,” Xeros flicks a card at the professor with the line that names the episode.
The whole crew reconvenes for the church-history final, a multiple-choice test they promptly cheat six ways — Basil slips the second Span Quill to a Suggestion-addled Morty and copies his answers, Grunsch bowls bags of Purple Filth across the floor for advantage, and Xeros crawls the room Tom-and-Jerry style to reclaim his own pants off a classmate. But as the answers get circled, Basil’s true sight catches a hallway that shouldn’t be there: a corridor of magical darkness, its guards slaughtered, stairs descending into the temple. The party runs toward it and finds the Defectio Luniae ritual already live — three standing door-portals ringing a giant rune circle, Foulclaw at its center beside Mutatio. Mutatio hands Foulclaw a moon-touched blade; Foulclaw cuts his own throat; the blood spreads through the runes. Then Mutatio pulls back his hood — a bald head branded with one of Old Man Jenkins’ Runes — and the truth lands: the history-rewriting alchemist is the “dead” founder himself. “You can’t kill what’s already dead.” A Hallow spell seals the portal, and the party is locked out with the exam still un-passed.
🎵 Song Recap (rhyming — drop into an AI song generator)
Scheme: AABB verses + chorus. Suggested vibe: gospel-choir hymn crossed with garage rock-‘n’-roll swagger.
(Verse 1) Finals-day sun on the School of ITYS, Chug from The Chalice and master a feat; A stump to the acolyte, kick out the prayer, Shrink to a mini and lose all your hair.
(Chorus) Cram it! (Cram it!) — cheat your way through the test, Quill to the nerd and a card to the pest; “I got rid of my vices” — then the smug prof’s aghast — The Final Final, and it’s gonna be your last!
(Verse 2) Back in the Hall where the old sins wait, The vices and voices you cannot sate; Distort him to insecure, shatter the rest — A Deck of Oracles hid in her chest.
(Verse 3) Bunny sees dark where the guards lie dead, Down to the runes where the faithful are led; A blade to the throat and the blood starts to crawl — The hood comes off… and it’s Jenkins after all.
(Outro) “You can’t kill what’s already dead,” he said — The portal seals up and the party’s iced out; They passed every con but they flunked the fallout.
📋 Point-by-point breakdown (player catch-up — everything that happened)
00:00:00· 🎭 RP — Cold open: a genuine debate over the correct amount of mayonnaise spirals into pitching “Viagra Man Mayonnaise” as the stream’s sponsor. Welcome back to the Ocho.00:03:09· 📖 Recap — Jesse rewinds Ch 3.7: the Sky Rush after-party, Morty fleeing the party’s sin-campaign, the break-in to Mutatio’s office, the lore-dump that Mutatio has been rewriting history, and the master-plan code word Defectio Luniae (a lunar eclipse).00:12:35· 🎲 Mechanic — On Mutatio’s desk they find a lone black Span Quill with no companion — darker, sadder, “an emo quill”; Basil pockets it. TBD leaves an Illusory Script “TBD message” alarm by the secret door.00:18:52· 🎲 Mechanic — Basil nat-20s a last sweep of the office and pockets the three emeralds Mutatio owed her plus three rubies.00:19:30· 📖 Lore — It’s exam day: the final is at end of morning (~10:30), and everyone gets one last chance to master their elective feats — the party drinks from The Chalice, which widens the day’s success range.00:22:00· 🎲 Mechanic — Basil masters her balance/heal feat (success on a 7–14 roll) by tripping Nortle flat; Xeros Silvery Barbs the trip and it rebounds on him.00:31:18· 🎲 Mechanic — Nortle masters his grappling feat at the School of Combat arena by ambushing the devout young acolyte Amla mid-prayer with a stump — a “This Is Sparta” teep-kick “kicks the religion out of him.” Xeros snatches Amla’s scattered gold.00:40:40· 🎭 RP — Grunsch returns TBD’s guitar, now the moon-blade axe-guitar Bophades (the Piece of Axe forged into a hilt), plus the recovered Book of Chronomancy he’d been cluelessly cramming from.00:45:18· 🎲 Mechanic — At the School of Sorcery range, TBD attempts Spell Sniper under the withering instructor Larensax — nat-1s into a Wild Surge, shrinking to seven inches, then to the size of his mini.01:00:44· ⚔️ Combat — TBD’s misfired bolt flings a freshman student through three walls; the boy fails his death saves as Basil repeatedly “heals” him by curb-stomping. The professor rules it fine — “he signed the waiver.”01:11:53· 🎲 Mechanic — Blindfolded and running on gut intuition, TBD finally masters Spell Sniper (a Robin-Hood arrow-split through three targets).01:12:48· 🎭 RP — Still an inch tall on the desk, TBD is menaced by two cockroaches “triple your size.” Roll initiative.01:15:12· 🧭 Travel — Xeros scrys with his crystal ball and finds Morty alive in the New Old Library, tutoring a smitten tiefling; Xeros tips the campus guards on him for sport and records it.01:20:54· 🧭 Travel — The sneering Sorcery professor teleports Xeros back to the Hall of Hidden Things for a forced retry.01:24:26· ⚔️ Combat — Xeros fights his personified Xeros’s Sins: Deceit (Basil, as his parents), Pride (TBD), and Lust (Nortle). With The Chalice weakening them, he shrinks Lust via Enlarge/Reduce and beheads his shrunken “parents.”01:43:42· 🎲 Mechanic — Xeros uses Distort Value on Pride, transforming it outright into “Insecurity,” then whittles it down with psychic self-reflection.01:54:00· ⚔️ Combat — Lust, the last of Xeros’s Sins, proves nearly unkillable (a “slow burn”); Xeros finally Shatters it and finds a golden orb behind it — a Deck of Oracles (roll a d20 each morning, use it to replace any later roll).02:03:46· 🎭 RP — “Reformed,” Xeros flicks an Oracle card at the smug professor: “I got rid of all my vices — and I’m going to shove this up your ass.” Jesse dubs it the episode name and future merch.02:08:13· 🎲 Mechanic — The church-history final begins (multiple choice). Cheats available: the paired Span Quills, Purple Filth (recollection advantage), and persuasion.02:14:03· 🎭 RP — Basil, covering with a heartfelt goodbye, snaps all of Morty’s pencils while Xeros Suggestions him into using the twin Span Quill — so Basil reads his answers straight off her own.02:20:34· 🎲 Mechanic — Instead of answers, Xeros crawls the loud floor Tom-and-Jerry style to steal back his own pants off a classmate; TBD catches a bag of Purple Filth from Grunsch and rolls against re-addiction.02:42:52· 📖 Lore — Basil’s true sight pierces an illusion: a hallway of darkness, slaughtered guards, and stairs down to the temple — the Defectio Luniae eclipse ritual is under way.02:48:00· 📖 Lore — Below: three standing door-portals ringing a rune circle. Foulclaw stands at the center beside Mutatio, who cuts Foulclaw’s throat with a moon-touched blade; the blood spreads through the runes as a wall of force blocks the party.02:56:20· 📖 Lore — Mutatio removes his hood — a bald head bearing one of Old Man Jenkins’ Runes — and is revealed as Old Man Jenkins himself. “You can’t kill what’s already dead.” A Hallow spell seals the portal and the session cuts to black.
Player Characters
| Character | Player | Race | Class | Note |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Xeros | Dave | Tiefling | Bard | Conquers his personified Sins in the Hall, wins a [[deck-of-oracles |
| Nortle | Steve | Tortle | Monk | Masters his grapple by stumping [[amla |
| TBD | Chris | Goliath | Wizard | Nat-1s Spell Sniper into oblivion (shrinks to mini-size, kills a freshman), then names Mutatio’s true identity |
| Basil | Brin | Harengon | Fighter | Masters her balance/heal feat; her true sight finds the ritual — the reason the party ever goes downstairs |
| [[foulclaw | Foulclaw]] | Jesse (PC) | Owlin | Sorcerer |
NPCs
| NPC | Role | Note |
|---|---|---|
| [[mutatio | Mutatio]] | Alchemist-professor, history-forger |
| [[old-man-jenkins | Old Man Jenkins]] | Founder of the Forgotten Hour, presumed dead |
| [[morty | Morty]] | Overachiever student |
| [[grunsch | Grunsch]] | High half-orc classmate |
| [[amla | Amla]] | Young ITYS acolyte |
| [[nico | Nico]] | Instructor / observer |
Factions
| Faction | Note |
|---|---|
| [[the-church-of-itys | Church of ITYS]] |
| [[the-seven-shards | The Seven Shards]] |
| [[house-of-old | House of Old]] |
| [[killasaurus | Killasaurus]] |
👹 Monsters
| Creature | Encounter | Note |
|---|---|---|
| [[xeros-s-sins | Xeros’s Sins]] — Lust, Pride, Deceit | Hall of Hidden Things |
| Cockroaches (×2) | The exam-prep desk | ”Triple your size” to an inch-tall TBD; a gag encounter, never actually fought |
| [[mutatio | Mutatio]] / [[old-man-jenkins | Old Man Jenkins]] |
🎙️ Notable Moments
00:02:44— The stream opens not on D&D but on a mayonnaise debate — until the crew pitches a sponsor.Basil: But it’s the moistest sandwich you’ve ever had. Nortle: It can be mayonnaise — Viagra mayonnaise. Xeros: Viagra Man Mayonnaise. GM: We’re getting into partnerships now — those two things probably go together.
GM: His book of scripture lands open — something about the opposite cheek, how vengeance shall be his… Nortle: Bring the lamentations of their children! It is a sweet savor to my nostrils! Xeros: (scooping the scattered gold) Xeros magically shows up and grabs it all. TBD: Probably the best way to justify a Religion check I’ve ever seen — well done.
00:57:41— TBD's Spell Sniper attempts keep coming up nat-1, and the Wild Surge just keeps shrinking him.TBD: Two nat-1s in a row. Xeros: Dude, how tall are you — you’re microscopic now. TBD: I’m the size of my mini. Nortle: You’re going to end up the Ant-Man of our group.
GM: You punch him through the wall — through like fifty walls, cartoon-style. Xeros: If you roll more than fourteen, he’s just straight dead. Basil: No — I’m going to stomp on him this time. TBD: How do they look upon murder at this school? / GM: He signed the waiver.
01:12:48— Shrunk to an inch tall and stranded on the desk, TBD meets the campus apex predators.TBD: Someone! Please pick me up! Xeros: Two cockroaches run up and — roll initiative! Basil: You can’t kill cockroaches, they’re immortal. GM: They’re like triple your size, too.
01:43:42— In the Hall of Hidden Things, Xeros meets Pride (voiced by TBD) and disarms it the only way a con artist can.TBD (Pride): No one’s ever going to match up to our potential, baby — we’re better off alone. Xeros: I’m going to Distort Value him — make him feel like less than he really is. GM: You reveal him as insecurity. Pride has been transformed into Insecurity. Xeros: Hi, Insecurity. How’s it going?
01:55:36— The last sin standing is Lust (voiced by Nortle), and it will not die — every hit just peels a layer.GM: My gosh, Lust is the most powerful — it’s a slow burn. Xeros: (casting Shatter) I’m just going to Marilyn Monroe this thing. Nortle: All you did was break my chastity belt. There’s nothing wrong with that. Xeros: You were wearing a chastity belt? How? Nortle: It’s all about the suspense, baby.
02:03:46— Victorious over his vices, a "reformed" Xeros immediately flicks an Oracle card at the professor who doubted him.GM (Professor): That goes to show how petty you are and how little you learned from this experience. Xeros: I got rid of all my vices — and I’m going to shove this up your ass. GM: Can that be our t-shirt, that all our viewers buy the merch? TBD: …Name of the episode.
02:26:56— Mid-final, instead of cheating for answers, Xeros crawls the loud floor to reclaim his own pants off a classmate.GM: Normally the weight of your body would creak every board, but… Xeros: I’m two-fingering it the whole way, like the cat in Tom and Jerry. GM: That’s exactly it. Is this Indiana Jones — but swapping pants for ladies’ underwear? Xeros: When he stands up, he’s going to learn his lesson: never wear my pants.
02:56:20— Locked out by a wall of force, the party watches Foulclaw's throat get cut — then the hooded ritualist turns around.
🗺️ Locations
| Location | Mentioned / Traveled | Note |
|---|---|---|
| [[new-old-trinity-city | New Old]] | Traveled |
| [[school-of-itys | School of ITYS]] | Traveled |
| [[school-of-sorcery | School of Sorcery]] | Traveled |
| [[school-of-combat | School of Combat]] | Traveled |
| [[hall-of-hidden-things | Hall of Hidden Things]] | Traveled |
| [[new-old-library | New Old Library]] | Mentioned |
| [[portal-beneath-the-temple | Portal beneath the temple]] | Traveled |
🎒 Items
| Item | Used / Introduced | Note |
|---|---|---|
| [[aether-glass-chalice | The Aether Glass Chalice]] | Used |
| [[deck-of-oracles | Deck of Oracles]] | Introduced |
| [[bophades | Bophades]] | Introduced |
| [[span-quills | Span Quills]] | Used |
| [[book-of-chronomancy | Book of Chronomancy]] | Recovered |
| [[purple-filth | Purple Filth]] | Used |
| [[moon-touched-rapier | Moon-touched rapier]] | Used |
| [[distort-value | Distort Value]] | Used |
| [[boots-of-leaping | Boots of Leaping]] | Used |
| [[the-good-book-of-itys | The Good Book of ITYS]] | Used |
⛩️ Pantheon & Religion
| Power | Mentioned / Seen | Note |
|---|---|---|
| [[father-itys | Father ITYS]] | Seen (doctrine) |
| [[selune | Selûne]] | Mentioned |
Cliffhanger
The hood comes off and the alchemist who’s been rewriting the Forgotten Hour is the “dead” founder himself — Old Man Jenkins, his skull branded with his own runes, Foulclaw’s blood already crawling through the circle to wake the three-door Stargate. A Hallow spell seals the chamber; the party pounds on a wall they cannot break. “You can’t kill what’s already dead.” The exam is the least of their problems.
Transcript
Full cleaned transcript: 251023-ch3.8-the-final-final-transcript · bundle on the tedit scratch SSD (
251023-ch3.8).
Related
Echoes of ITYS · 251009-ch3.7-defecto-lunia · 251204-ch3.10-honorary-diploma · Mutatio · Old Man Jenkins · Foulclaw · Defectio Luniae · Portal beneath the temple · Deck of Oracles · The Forgotten Hour · Hall of Hidden Things